How are people gonna become fans if they literally don't know the name of the band they're listening to?" - Ann. So.I think we have to change it just one more time-" -Andy. "Mouse Rat, it's a great name, but at the same sucks. (Snickers from rest of department.) "Of our failure, I mean." (Talking about a parks safety poster.) "Jerry's face is the symbol of failure." - Leslie. And, also, I got you some coffee." - Andy to April. So, I feel like you got mad at me yesterday, and I don't know why, so I made a list of everything I did and I'll try not to do any of it ever again. tacky pictures of flowers." - a panicked April, while a possum is loose, can still find something mean to say about Ann's house when describing to Leslie how that possum got loose. ".and then I opened the door, but it won't go outside. They're watching a documentary on meerkats.) "Do you know them?" - April to the possum. (Housesitting at Ann's, with the possum on the couch beside her. You're telling me that he might not be a hero but just some jerk that goes around tackling random possums?" "I think I saw a second possum." (April stares blankly.) "There was another possum." "Wait.Andy's in there talking to a reporter and literally kissing his own biceps. "I don't know what you're talking about." - April. The point is, if I kill the first whale, am I technically a murderer?" - Leslie.
Maybe it's a big fish or a submarine with a face painted on it.'. And while you were catching the whale, you saw something else that might also be another whale, and you were like, 'What?', but then you thought, 'Maybe it's not a whale. "Let's say you had to, hypothetically, catch a guilty whale. Cures include coffee, cheeseburgers, and taking naps on the floor." - April. It's when you've been shining shoes all day and the fumes create a thunderstorm in your mind. "Andy has recently diagnosed himself with something called 'shoe-shine head'. I would ask Leslie, but.I've seen the way she takes care of her house." - Ann. "I'm paying April fifty bucks to watch my house while I'm away. But they're less stupid when they're given to the right people." - Ron, after giving the award to Leslie. "I'm not! I'm gonna push my punches! I'm gonna push them as far as my arms can extend!" (She marches off to her office triumphantly to write a scathing letter.) "Attagirl.Kind of." - Ron shakes his head. "You do that! Don't pull your punches." - Ron cheers her on. (Leslie is raging at the IOW committee again, for purposely giving the Dorothy Everton Smythe Female Empowerment Award(which Ron had jokingly called the Dorothy Everytime Smurf Girl Award for Excellence in Female Stuff) to a man. You spend your life chasing 'em, you'll drive yourself nuts." You do attend a shocking number of WNBA games." "I'm just saying that awards are political, and everybody has an agenda. Dennis Rodman-" "Are these real people?!" - Jerry asks Donna. (During the beginning of Tom's sales pitch to buy part interest in the Snakehole Lounge.) "Jay-Z. "Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner, because I've won an award." "That's not really the attitude I expect from an award winner." - Leslie to Ron. (Angry soccer coach plows into Ron's office.) "Excuse me.uhhhh.RONN?! Someone's coming in!!!" - April. You are like an angel with no wings." "So, like a person." (Also, now they're Tackled Shaft, not Mouse Rat.) (At Andy's shoe-shine stand.) "So, why don't you just get a new place? I'll help you." - April. However, she cares way too much about crap like this, which is why I can't pass up this opportunity to tease her about it." - Ron. Which is why I fully intend to decline this nonsense and recommend that it go to Leslie, because she works really hard, and I don't. (Ron walks in.) "What's going on?" "You're, um, Pawnee's Woman of the Year, looks like." - April.
Leslie protests, April points out that she read it right that's what printed on the paper.) "No, that can't be right! They only honor women, and Ron's the total opposite of a woman." - Leslie. (April reads the IOW award letter giving their Woman of the Year to Ronald Swanson.
(See also the quotes of season one, and season two quotes parts one and two.)
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